Some young men wonder why you would ever date a cougar, but these are almost exclusively the men who have never met a true specimen. Why date a cougar? Because if you find yourself flirting with a sexy and powerful woman who actually has some money saved, can pick out fine wines, and is able to talk politics and stocks without batting an eye, you do anything but say, “no, thank you.” In fact, all you really need to do is buckle your seatbelt and let her take charge because any cougar worth her salt has been around the block awhile and already knows exactly what she wants.
If you find a cougar that is recently divorced, the game changes a little bit. She may have a bit more baggage, but all of that comes with more experience as well. Depending on how long she was married or how messy the divorce got, she might just be looking to use you once and drop you off an hour after you meet. Alternatively, she may feel a little lonely and you could end up with a regular feline-with-benefits situation on your hands. Either way, here are some general tips to get the most out of your safari and avoid getting eaten (you know what I mean).
1. Keep it drama-free
She already got a lifetime’s worth of drama during her divorce, so you can bet your ass that she doesn’t want more from you. Besides, half the reason many men date an older woman is to avoid all of that drama that women in their ‘20s seem to thrive on. When dating a cougar, it is always best to keep everything casual. Don’t overthink comments she makes or certain situations, and definitely don’t get too sensitive about the things she may say or not say. She knows exactly what she wants from you, and putting up with drama is not part of the deal. Going along with that
2. Don’t be self-conscious
The cougar is a woman who has a wealth of experience that make these extra couple years between you all the more enjoyable. The recently-divorced cougar likely has even more experience across the range of relationships. She was married for years before she met you; she already knows exactly who she is, what her strengths and weaknesses are, and how get what she needs from a hookup or a relationship. You need to get on her level. She wants a man who is direct. She wants a man who won’t be second-guessing everything from conversation to sex positions. The time to be self-conscious was before you started dating her. If you want to do something, follow through and she’ll let you know if she isn’t cool with it.
3. Don’t be a gold-digger
One of the many perks of dating an older woman is that, ninety-nine percent of the time, she is financially comfortable. Read the signs he is only after your money. This can be especially true with an older woman who has just gone through a divorce and possibly acquired some assets from her ex-husband to compliment her own. This means that, unlike most of the women your own age you tend to date, your new and older friend-with-benefits can actually afford to pick up the tab once in a while or fund some small vacations. However, as fantastic as this perk can be, you need to also make sure that she doesn’t think you’re taking advantage of her. Just because she doesn’t need to rely on you giving her a good time, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still take some manly responsibility and treat her to dinner or a nice trip to the beach yourself. Just because she’s a cougar and divorcée doesn’t mean that chivalry is dead.
4. Keep her interested
If you’re dating a recently-divorced cougar, the odds are that she is done with boring relationships, boring sex, and boring people. She isn’t old yet, but she realizes that she does have more years than the rest of the dating pool, and she wants to throw some more spice back into her life while she still can. If her sights are set on you, this means that she expects some fun from you. Hell, that’s probably why she was interested in you in the first place! Take her to new places, taste some new foods, try some new sex positions in new places and new
well, you get the idea. Make yourself worth her time.
5. Check the immaturity
In all likelihood, she isn’t dating a guy in his 20s because immaturity turns her on. She was looking for the looks, body, and libido of a younger man and you fit the bill, despite everything else that comes with a man in his 20s. She can get over your money being tight, but immaturity will annoy her. What’s the best way to keep yourself on her level in this department? Well, take everything above into perspective. Don’t be too self-conscious or focus on drama, don’t be preoccupied with the exchange of money throughout the relationship, and don’t let things get stale. And if any of those fall through, don’t stress out! Maturity comes with a relaxed perspective.
